It´s been exactly one moon cycle (one month for “normal” people) that I’ve arrived here at this very difficult part of the world to live in. Specially in winter. Yes, I was leaving everything behind on the Full Moon in Taurus, and I´m taurus rising, if you know what I mean. If you don´t – it was almost impossible thing to do! And extremely hectic, since I had to pack and put all my life into boxes at the same time. And do it all in just two weeks! If it sounds crazy, it´s because it was! Totally crazy! Hopefully I´ve got help from heaven, but it´s a whole another story. Everyone thought I was insane leaving Barcelona for the cold. And they still do. But for me it felt like arriving home…
There is something special about the winter. About the snow. About the ice. I can´t describe it with words. I just love this time of the year. I love cold. I love snow. And I love ice. Even though it´s really challenging after living seventeen years on the coast of Mediterranean Sea (I won´t say in Spain, because you have so many different worlds and weather conditions, so you can get very cold winters there as well). And I brought snow storm with me. Seeing the first snowflakes of the year falling was truly amazing experience. Brought me to my childhood and to my happy memories. For me snow is magical. It brings light to the dark nights of the north.
A lot happened since then but from the moment I’ve got the first sign that I should come here, the synchronicities just kept on occurring. I still don’t know the real reason why I’m here. Though I might have some suspicions. But for now, it’s just a mystery and pure joy of being free to do whatever I want. Many of you already know that I’ve ended my fifteen-year relationship last year and got divorced. But for those that don’t, it might be a shock. It’s been the most difficult year of my life. Saying goodbye to my old life, my home, my animals, my studio and my garden… But going through the dark night of the soul was needed. I simply wasn’t happy anymore. Neither with myself neither with the relationship I was in. So, I died and gave birth to the new, updated version of myself. And finally understood what the unconditional love really is about.
And yes, it’s been one mounth and I’m already fed up with tons of clothes you need to put on yourself to survive and I´m missing my fur family and my friends soooo much! But what I miss the most is the sun… So important element for every being that lives on this planet. And when after many days with sky filled with thousands shades of grey, sunrays came into my room and met my eyes while I was meditating in the morning, they simply made me cry.
I’ve just sat there enjoying the light. New day. The moment of silence. Being amazed by the beauty. Marvelous drawings came to life on my eye lashes, made by the fusion of the sun and my tears. They’ve created dancing rainbows mixed with sacred geometry. I was amazed. It was so beautiful and surreal that is impossible to describe. It’s a pity I can’t put my camara inside my head. I’ll need to paint that little miracle instead one day.
When the sun comes out here, you get this energy of excitement, because you never know how long it´ll last. It can be gone in just one minute. So, I´ve rushed to the other window with my camera only to find the whole wonderland in front of my eyes. Frost. Incredible painter in action. And me. By some mysterious reason – here. Where I need to be. For now at least. “Ready or not, here I come.” – Hilma
Fhoto serie: Frozen Window
